enam puluh lima

Selain PostSecret dan I Can Has Cheezburger, saya suka MyLifeIsAverage. Ia buat saya tersenyum.

Antara anekdot yang saya suka. MLIA:

• When I was little I would write my initials on my one dollar bills before I spent them. Today, I bought a cup of coffee and my change included a dollar bill with my initials in the corner. I’ve waited 10 years for this to happen. It’s bound to be a good day. MLIA.
• Today, my friend explained to me that if you write 3.14 on a piece of paper and hold it in a mirror, it will say pie. Mind. Blown. MLIA
• Today, I was in line at my college library behind two burly guys. I didn’t think anything of it until they asked to rent the Disney movie “The Little Mermaid.” The librarian walked over to the shelf and then glanced back at the guys with a disbelieving look. When they saw her expression, one of them said, with a completely straight face, “What?? Some of us like happiness and sunshine.” MLIA
• Today I was walking back from class and saw a single flip flop. Upon closer inspection there was a scrap of paper attached that said “Looking for my sole mate”. I sure hope it finds one. MLIA
• Today, I was messing around with the Bluetooth on our school’s laptops. I renamed the laptop’s name to “God”, and connected with every laptop in the class. The message that popped up on everyone’s screen at that moment was: “God is trying to connect with you. Accept?” MLIA
• Today, I got my math homework back from my teacher, I realized that I had accidently written my homework on a piece of notebook paper that I had also doodled math sucks, math sucks, math sucks on the back of. My teacher wrote I know, I know, I know right next to it. MLIA
• Today, I realized the word bed actually looks like a bed. MLIA
• Today we got a physics test back that I just knew I failed. While taking the test, on the bottom of it I drew a tombstone that said RIP my Physics grade and the dates from the first day of class to that day. I even drew a small dead bouquet at the bottom. My teacher gave me 5 extra points for the drawing and I passed the test. MLIA
• Today, for my grandpa’s birthday, he legally changed his name to Gandalf. Our last name is Grey. MLIA
• Yesterday, someone asked me if I would help tutor them in math. I said I would, at a charge of $20 dollars an hour. They told me that they couldn’t afford that. I then proceeded to give them the great discount of $10 for half an hour. They took the deal, our first session is next Tuesday. MLIA
• Today, I was drinking a glass of water and began to choke. I wondered if anyone had ever died of choking on water. My dad then told me “its called drowning.” Oh. MLIA
• Today in Health class, we were talking about healthy relationsips. The teacher asked the head cheerleader why she originally said yes to her boyfriend when he first asked her out, and of course, everyone expected a typical cheerleader response like “he’s sooo hot.”. Instead, the girl simply blushed and said “His last name is Riddle, and I thought that if we got married and had a son we could name him Tom Morvolo. That way, I could say Lord Voldemort is my son.” The class just stared at her in awed silence. Never again will I insult a cheerleader. MLIA.
• Today, I was explaining to my grandpa what farmville was. Out of nowhere, he asks me “Can you grow marijuana ?” I love old people. MLIA
• Today I was reading the License Agreement for an update on my computer and one line caught my eye: “You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.” The update was for iTunes. MLIA

 

Selamat hari raya!

enam puluh empat

Pagi tadi.

Saya pun tak pasti sama ada saya memang mempunyai super power yang tersembunyi selama ini atau kualiti mug itu yang memang kodi.

.

.

.

.

.

Oh, sudah… takkan sebab saya dengar cd ini malam tadi kot?

enam puluh tiga

Saya sudah jadi peminat  Thierry Henry Should Apologise to Ireland di Facebook.

.

Sekian, terima kasih.

enam puluh dua

Mak dia ada kanser. Chemotherapy langsung tak dapat membantu. Dan sekarang hidupnya bergantung pada life support machine.

Sekarang aku rasa hopeless sebab tak dapat tolong langsung.

Masa ini panggilan telefon atau teks atau mesej atau catatan di wall Facebook pun tak berguna. Sebab tak dapat membantu apa-apa pun.

.

Sebab masa ini aku cuma mahu genggam tangan dia dan peluk dia erat-erat tanpa perlu kata apa-apa.

.

 

I’m so very sorry Nad for not being there for you, when you need someone the most.

 

enam puluh satu

i.

Saya terpecahkan cermin solek saya hari ini. Bad luck atau tidak saya tak tahu, tapi yang saya tahu dah jadi satu kes pula nak kena beli cermin lain.

ii.

Saya terhibur baca entri ini.

iii.

Malam tadi saya ke konsert Backstreet Boys. Terasa sepuluh tahun lebih muda walaupun hakikatnya saya memang masih muda. Walaupun hujan lebat tak ada ampun punya, demi Backstreet Boys kuturuti jua, cewah! Lepas itu kasut dan stokin memang lencunlah macam baru lepas kena rendam dalam air dua qullah, dan saya kemudian selesa berkaki ayam saja semasa menonton konsert (feeling ala-ala Elyanalah pula!) AJ sudah semakin gemuk dan nampak semakin tua, Nick sudah tidak babyface macam dulu lagi. Kevin tidak ada, dia sudah jadi backstreet man sekarang.

p/s: Lelaki pun ramai yang pergi menonton konsert BSB. Tak sangka betul.

iv.

Saya mahu tonton Paranormal Activity. Dalam surat khabar tulis filem itu akan ditayangkan bermula 13 November. Tapi di Cineworld, ia hanya akan ditayangkan pada 27 November. Bagus juga, ada peluang mengumpul lebih semangat supaya tak takut tidur malam-malam nanti.

v.

Jika Rumi tidak bertemu Shams Tabrizi, Rumi bukanlah Rumi yang kita ketahui hari ini. Dan jika Rumi tidak berpisah dengan Shams Tabrizi, Rumi belum tentu lagi menjadi Rumi yang kita kenali hari ini.

Setiap perkara yang berlaku itu ada hikmahnya, ia datang dalam bentuk yang kita tidak sangkakan.

vi.

Ini satu lagi yang saya suka.

.

My heart is so small it’s almost invisible.
How can You place such big sorrows in it?
“Look,” He answered,
“your eyes are even smaller,
yet they behold the world.”

~ Rumi

enam puluh

Pukul 11 pagi nanti aku ada meeting dengan klien.

Ini pertama kali aku rasa debaran yang luar biasa, ada rasa macam satu perasaan pelik.

Sebabnya cuma satu saja – dia Yahudi. Aku baca biodata dia dari portfolio, dia memang Yahudi totok dari Israel, sampai ada dokumen yang dia hantarkan pada aku pun dalam dwibahasa, English dan Hebrew.

Perasaan ini macam tak masuk akal. Sebab selama ini memang aku bekerja rapat dengan orang Nasrani, dengan atheis, dengan komunis, tapi apabila aku tahu dia dari Israel, point of view aku jadi tunggang terbalik. Sebabnya kepala otak aku sudah di pra-programkan untuk borong semua bahawa segala-gala tentang Israel itu adalah jahat dan musuh. Padahal klien aku ni tak terlibat pun dengan perang segala, dia pun dah lama jadi expat di negara lain.

Aku… rasis?

.

Astaghfirullah hal ‘azim

Astaghfirullah hal ‘azim

Astaghfirullah hal ‘azim

.

—

.

Update

So the meeting went well.

I couldn’t help it, but I found myself peering at his nose, occasionally. Kejinya engkau ni tuan tanah!

Dia sempat bertanya soalan yang tak disangka-sangka. Apabila diberitahu aku dari Malaya, serta merta dia bertanya sama ada Malaya mengambil bendera Amerika dan menggantikan bintang-bintang putih di penjuru bendera tersebut dan menggantikannya dengan bulan dan bintang berwarna kuning, dan menggunakan bendera yang diubah itu sebagai bendera Malaya. Errr…

Begitupun, dia juga sempat bertanya sama ada aku belajar perakaunan, kerana pertama kali melihat aku, dari wajah aku dia sangka aku masih belum tamat sekolah menengah!

Second best compliment ever.

Yang pertama, beberapa bulan lepas apabila aku sedang beli tiket wayang Drag Me to Hell dan perempuan di kaunter itu suspicious sahaja bertanyakan usia, kerana filem itu diklasifikasikan sebagai 15A – remaja 15 tahun ke bawah mesti ditemani orang dewasa untuk menonton filem itu.

Terima kasih mak kerana genetikmu yang membuatkan anakmu ini sentiasa kelihatan muda remaja.

I feel good today.

 

 

lima puluh sembilan

Kredit: personally

.

Tubuh dalam baju panas labuh berkolar ganda tenunan bulu kambing berwarna merah hati dipadankan dengan seluar kapas bercetak gingham cerut di pinggang, juga berwarna merah.

Sepasang kaki bersalut stokin tebal poliester bermotif kepingan salji.

Duduk memeluk kaki di pinggir pendiang api dalam kelubung fleece throwover rona lavendar sambil mencicip koko panas.

.

Ahhh… sorga.

.

lima puluh lapan

If this was a scrap book, I’d call it ‘the world wide web is my oyster’ too. (I called it a scrap book because, you know, you just cut and paste things… but virtually.)

.

38. IT’S CALLED COMMON SENSE, USE IT

55. YOU NEVER STOP LOVING SOMEONE, YOU JUST LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT THEM

59. DON’T THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT SOMETHING JUST BECAUSE YOU READ ABOUT IT ON WIKIPEDIA

89. FIND SOMEONE THAT CAN MAKE YOU SMILE. NEVER LET THIS PERSON GO.

98. GOOGLE IT BEFORE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND LOOK LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT.

107. ALWAYS PUT YOUR SMILE ON. PEOPLE WILL ASSUME YOU ARE A CRAZY PERSON AND WON’T MESS WITH YOU.

169. HERE’S SOME WISDOM, GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF THE COMPUTER AND GO GET A LIFE……. OR DOWNLOAD ONE, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER TAKES LESS ESTIMATED TIME

173. TRUTH IS, EVERYONE IS FUCKED UP. SOME PEOPLE CHOOSE TO ACCEPT THAT FACT, WHILE OTHERS CHOOSE TO BE ANNOYING BY BITCHING ABOUT INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE PROBLEMS, LIKE HOW THEY CAN NEVER FIND MATCHING SOCKS, OR HOW THEY SPILLED COFFEE ON THEIR NEWSPAPER THIS MORNING.

186. SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE

208. ALL WE NEED IS NOT LOVE. WE ALSO NEED FOOD, WATER, AND SHELTER. THE BEATLES WERE ON ACID. GET OVER IT.

242. A RICH MAN IS NOTHING BUT A POOR MAN WITH MONEY

261. WHEN YOU ASSUME YOU MAKE AN ASS OUT OF U AND ME.

271. SOME PEOPLE ARE WISE, SOME PEOPLE ARE OTHERWISE

281. THE LESS INTELLIGENT YOU ARE, THE LOUDER YOU TALK.

289. YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT UNTIL YOUR DEATH WOULD BE CONSIDERED AN ASSASSINATION AND NOT A MURDER

290. NOBODY IS GOING TO ACTUALLY SWIM THE OCEAN FOR YOU. EVEN IF THEY DID, THEY WOULD PROBABLY DIE IN THE PROCESS.

294. SAYING “IT IS GOING TO BE OKAY” WHEN SOMEONE IS UPSET ISN’T GOING TO MAKE THEM INSTANTLY THINK “OH HEY, IT REALLY IS GOING TO BE OKAY, I’M ALRIGHT NOW”, IT JUST MAKES THEM THINK YOU’RE AN IDIOT.

301. WHEN I ASK HOW YOUR DAY WAS, IT IS TO MAKE CONVERSATION. YOUR ONE WORD RESPONSE OF “GOOD” OR “FINE” DOESN’T HELP THE SITUATION AT ALL.

302. YOU ARE NOT A WIZARD, VAMPIRE, WEREWOLF, OR UNICORN AND CHANCES ARE YOU WILL NOT BECOME ONE.

306. YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN LOVE WHEN YOU CAN’T SLEEP BECAUSE REALITY IS FINALLY BETTER THAN YOUR DREAMS.

312. NO, OASIS, SALLY SO CANNOT WAIT. SALLY IS AN IMPATIENT BITCH.

317. DON’T ACCEPT RIDES FROM STRANGE MEN*

*Remember that all men are strange.

.

All wisdoms are from Got Wisdom? Thanks!

(I love Tumblr now.)

lima puluh tujuh

If this was an album in Facebook, I’d call it ‘the world wide web is my oyster.’

Proper credit available ini we ♥ it

lima puluh enam

Oh.

.

Thinking Negatively Can Boost Your Memory

Resource: here

Bad moods can actually be good for you, with an Australian study finding that being sad make people less gullible, improves their ability to judge others and also boosts memory.

The study, authored by psychology professor Joseph Forgas at the University of New South Wales, showed that people in a negative mood were more critical of, and paid more attention to, their surroundings than happier people, who were more likely to believe anything they were told.

“Whereas positive mood seems to promote creativity, flexibility, cooperation, and reliance on mental shortcuts, negative moods trigger more attentive, careful thinking paying greater attention to the external world,” Forgas wrote.

“Our research suggests that sadness … promotes information processing strategies best suited to dealing with more demanding situations.”

For the study, Forgas and his team conducted several experiments that started with inducing happy or sad moods in their subjects through watching films and recalling positive or negative events.

In one of the experiments, happy and sad participants were asked to judge the truth of urban myths and rumors and found that people in a negative mood were less likely to believe these statements.

People in a bad mood were also less likely to make snap decisions based on racial or religious prejudices, and they were less likely to make mistakes when asked to recall an event that they witnessed.

The study also found that sad people were better at stating their case through written arguments, which Forgas said showed that a “mildly negative mood may actually promote a more concrete, accommodative and ultimately more successful communication style.”

“Positive mood is not universally desirable: people in negative mood are less prone to judgmental errors, are more resistant to eyewitness distortions and are better at producing high-quality, effective persuasive messages,” Forgas wrote.

The study was published in the November/December edition of the Australasian Science journal.

(Writing by Miral Fahmy, editing by Belinda Goldsmith)